VLM 2018 : I Ran It For Jessica Rose

I did it! 26.2 miles of pain, effort and a shiny silver medal. Here's my recap of marathon day (hold tight, it's a long one!)

The Start Area

I got up at around 6am and got into my kit which I'd laid out the night before. I had some porridge which I'd taken with me to the hotel and a cup of tea, before kissing my family goodbye and heading for the station.

 

We stayed in Victoria, which isn't far from the race finish and very close to the Lullaby Trust HQ, this meant that I had to take a trip across the city to get to the race start but James and the children could be closer to the attractions and the finish line.

My start area was red, mostly made up of charity runners. The train was waiting at the platform so I grabbed a quick coffee before finding a seat. It was actually fairly quiet as it was the first of the trains to go across to Blackheath that morning. I didn't have to buy a ticket as transport was free for runners, I just had to show my bib number.

Once the train started to move I found myself chatting to the runner across, a chap from Burnley who was working on joining the 100 marathon club before his 50th birthday. We had a good chat about training up north, the fact there are hills everywhere and we couldn't have prepared ourselves for this weather. He had run London several times before and really put my mind at ease. He even walked across to the start areas with me and showed me which way to get to the red start, as we parted company he told me he was confident I would achieve my goal time, which was really kind, i felt excited.

 

The red start was quiet when I arrived, i managed to use the portaloos without a queue, passed security (after having to empty my entire bag), smothered myself in sun protection, put my bag on the baggage lorries and to my excitement, they were giving out cups of tea! It's no secret that I love a brew and I found it really comforting to sit sipping a quiet cuppa under a tree in the shade.

Whilst I waited for the start I bumped into a few familiar faces, several Team Lullaby runners, some I had met before and some were new faces. We shared stories, it was quite emotional and looking at the representation for some of the bigger charities there I felt even better that I was running for a smaller cause. I also bumped into Jemma from instagram (@thisgirlcanrunfar) and had a quick chat. I was amazed that I could come all the way from Barrow-in-Furness and find people to talk to!

At 10am, we headed for the pens. I parted company with my team mates at this point as we went to our separate starts. I was in pen 5, which handily contained Emily Foy, pacing the 4 hour group. I took a selfie with her and we had a chat about the weather and ultra running, she was regaling us with tales of her hallucinations on long races!

Miles 1-6

It took 27 minutes to cross the start line. To be honest it was too long. I'd sat under a tree in the shade for the most part of the morning but now I was stood in the beating sun, it felt uncomfortable. I took my pre race gel and tried to keep my nerves at bay. We walked slowly forwards and crossed the chip mats, then after a couple of hundred metres of jogging I saw no other than the lovely Shimelle! Holding a big banner saying "Go Jenny"!! I was so excited to see her, I couldn't believe someone had come out to support me, we had a quick hug and off I went.

Now I needed to concentrate on running. It was very crowded, feet and elbows everywhere. I hoped that within a few miles it would settle down. I told myself that the first 5k of every training run is awkward and to just ride it through and not get carried away. I kept the red pacing flags in sight and pressed on.

The heat was so intense. Being packed in with thousands of people, between buildings and practically no breeze made it feel like running in an oven. My usually easy pace of 5:40km felt difficult to maintain and I began to readjust my time goals. As we approached 10k I realised that my 4 hour goal would have to be shelved for another day. It was hard watching the flags go into the distance but I knew it was the right thing to do. I'd never felt so uncomfortable during a run before and the prospect of 20 miles ahead of me meant it was time to be sensible and slow down, I had tried but the heat was not on my side.

Half Way

Not long after 10k I took my first walk break. I couldn't believe it, I've never walked so early before. I took water from the stations and took a couple of mouthfuls from the bottle, then used the rest to cool myself. I poured it over my head, my neck, my palms (which was strangely nice) and threw the bottles to the side of the road.

I started to notice people struggling as early as around 6-8 miles. Some with their heads in their hands, some entirely passed out against the barriers. It was scary, I didn't want that to happen to me.  I felt the huge responsibility of getting the job done on my shoulders, so many friends and supporters watching the tracker and over £5,500 riding on me getting to the end in one piece.

 

It was at this point that I realised I had forgotten to complete my emergency details on the reverse of my bib. I felt a surge of fear, what if I collapsed and they couldn't call James?

I had to push these thoughts aside and concentrate on what now felt like plodding through treacle. Tower Bridge appeared and I forced myself to run across it and walked across the half way timing mats at the other side.

At this point the course turns right and the faster runners and hitting around 22/23 miles on the other side of the road. I could see that large numbers of them were struggling too, covering themselves in water and walking, it brought it home that everyone was finding the heat a challenge. Looking round everyone was taking walk breaks and I began to accept it for what it was, a case of just getting to the end.

Miles 14 - 22

I pressed on and set myself little goals, run another five minutes or the next round km, take a little walk and repeat. I soaked myself at the water stations to keep cool, I was completely drenched but it didn't feel like enough, I could have leapt in the Thames! 

We headed into a large tunnel and when we emerged into daylight I saw some of the more frightening cases, people fully passed out on the road side, oxygen masks, stretchers, an ambulance pushing through the course. It was a fight for survival.

The crowd support was intense by this point, the supporters were having a wonderful day in the sun! The noise was deafening, screaming, shouting, bands and loudspeakers. One lady had her ice cold glass of rose hanging over the barrier and it took all my will power not to grab it!!! Deptford fire station set up a hose to shower the runners, it felt incredible.

We headed into the Isle of Dogs and past Canary Wharf. This was actually one of my favourite parts of the race. I settled into a rhythm of counting to 100 (it's been a while since I've used that strategy) and was finding the kilometers were starting to rack up again. Seeing 20 miles approach felt like I was getting on the right side of things and I knew I would make it.

I passed the Team Lullaby cheer station and felt so happy to be a part of it. I growled "come on Jessie lets do this" to myself and got my head down for the last push.

The Final Miles

I was painfully aware that most runners hit the wall at this point and I made sure I kept up my nutrition. I had an energy gel every 5 miles and a Clif Block chew when I felt I needed a little extra. In those last miles the crowds were going wild. It was overwhelming, they screamed your name from your vest but in such a way you looked twice to see if it was someone you knew, the cheers were so personal. Somewhere along the way I found Helen from instagram (@hthom_runs) with her unicorn balloon and it was such a boost to see a friendly face, even when your it's first meeting in person and you are wet through and looking like... I don't know what, not good!

 

By now walking was more uncomfortable than running and I felt like I was getting stiff so I pressed on, jogging and counting to 100. Another big tunnel before the embankment and people were starting to drop like flies. At mile 23 a girl hit the wall in front of me and started to do that funny Foster walk, I caught her as she stumbled into the oncoming runners and guided her to the fence and the medics. It shook me, I had my final gel and hoped for the best.

 

Rounding the corner at Big Ben (which was under scaffolding!) it was almost over, I was shattered but I knew James, Mum & the kids were waiting in the Grandstand on the Mall and I couldn't wait to let them know I was ok. The marshalls shouted 1km to go and usually I'd think "great!" and put my foot down but I actually had a short walk, my left leg was starting to twitch with the beginning of cramp and I wanted to make sure that I ran all the way down the mall.

 

I came under the "385 yards to go" gantry and scanned the stands, I saw a big flash of yellow and knew it was my family in their Lullaby Trust t-shirts, I waved like mad to catch their attention and saw James pumping his fist and pointing to the finish line, telling me to finish strong, so I ran in, arms in the air and thumbs up. It was over.

The Finish

Across the line I stopped my Garmin (obviously) and felt such relief to be OK. All I could think of were those people who couldn't make it and I didn't care about my time, I was just happy to be on my feet. A lady hung my medal around my neck and the photographers snapped me holding it. I walked gingerly down to collect my bag and meet my family in the meet and greet. I wanted to just stop and lie down on the cool grass in the park but I knew if I did I probably wouldn't get up.

 

I found my family and after lots of hugs and photos we walked slowly back the the Lullaby Trust HQ. On arrival they were out in the street, waving and cheering and hugging us all, that was when the emotions flooded in and I let myself cry.

Inside we were pampered with a buffet, some champagne and the option of a massage. I just wanted a cup of tea! We stayed a little while and I ate all the salty foods and had a wonderful chat with Francine Bates, the CEO of the charity. She knew all about Jessica's story and thanked us for all our hard work.

Tired, soaked and filthy we left and went to the hotel to have a bath and rest. So ended my marathon journey and I still don't think the enormity of what happened has sunk in.

Moving On

Since the end of the race I was saddened to hear of the loss of Matt Campbell who died after collapsing on the course. Matt was a local runner to us which brought it even harder home. This weekend I will be running 3.7 #milesformatt and donating to the Brathay Trust.

I felt sad to begin with that I'd not had the chance to perform at my best and use all the hard work I'd put in in training but I'm proud that I made it. Most importantly than any finish time I raised over £5,500 (& climbing) in Jessica's name for The Lullaby Trust and I hope I did her proud.

If you've made it this far - well done!!! & Of course I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everybody for their support, sponsorship and well wishes. It means so much.

What's next for Team Faz? Well you'll just have to wait and see ... ;-)

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/runningforjessicarose

My Running Journey : Getting Started & Losing Weight

In 2004 I was in my second year of university. I was studying accountancy (yes, exciting) at UCLAN in Preston. I had a shocking diet of takeaways, late nights and alcohol. I was lazy and would rather grab a pizza after a shift in my nightclub job than cook myself a decent meal.

I was overweight, unfit and depressed. The depression wasn't a result of the weight gain but it certainly didn't help matters. I had gone from a fit and active teenager to a fat and miserable young adult, I was newly single and my life needed a big shake up. 

My parents told me how along with my two elder brothers they were signing up complete the BUPA Great Manchester 10k Run, would I like to join them? We'd always been an active family, so I said yes, I'd give it a go.

I set out for my first run in January 2005, 5 months before the race. I was wearing a pair of cheap fashion trainers and I couldn't make it to the end of the street. It was a shock! I figured running would be fairly easy, I was wrong.  My lungs burned, my body felt like a ton of bricks and my feet were less than impressed about the lack of cushioning in those shoes.

I tried to go out 2-3 times a week from there until the race, each time aiming to jog that little bit further before I stopped to walk, a lamppost further each time. I bought myself some proper running shoes. The first time I made it to the big junction at the end of the road was a milestone, then to the park, round the park and finally home.

Back then there were no GPS watches, I didn't even own a laptop or have internet access in my uni halls (I know, prehistoric) so Strava or Couch to 5k wasn't a thing. The only way I could record my progress were those damn lampposts! When my parents came to visit I had my Dad drive a lap of my route and tell me how far it was. Turns out it was just over 3 miles, or 5k, so unwittingly I'd done my own couch to 5k programme - I had to use the voice in my own head rather than a helpful lady in my earphones.

(Speaking of earphones - music was a bit tricky back then. I had an mp3 player, honestly it held about 5 songs. I remember a friend telling my that this company called Apple had just released a gadget called an "iPod" that could hold a gigabyte of music and I was amazed. I now feel very very old.)

In the mean time I got my act together with my eating. I cut out the rubbish, as being on first name terms with the guy in the pizza shop is never a good thing. I started to eat all the things my Mum had told me were good for me, rather than the foods I wanted to eat when I left home in a streak of rebellion. Frosties were swapped for Bran Flakes, chocolate bars for bananas and McDonalds for Jacket potato and beans.

I never starved myself. I didn't join a slimming club. I didn't follow a plan. I just ate sensibly and enjoyed my treats in moderation. I still drank enough alcopops to sink a small ship but I danced hard enough on those student nights that it didn't really matter.

The weight started to fall off and I dropped from a size 18 to a size 12. I ran the Manchester 10k with my family in May 2005 in a time of around 1hr 8 minutes. I was elated! I'd turned it around but I knew I had more to give.

My brother Gary had a place for the Great North Run in September - could I do it too? I took a charity place with Breast Cancer Care and worked hard training and fundraising, raising over £250 through car boot sales and sponsors. The whole family got involved, they were running for Leukaemia research.

I fought my way around that half marathon in 2hrs 30mins. It was hard going. I was overtaken by a banana at one point (i figured a little walk wouldn't hurt after that). It was hot, people were passed out on the side of the road and on that last mile along the sea front I truly thought I might die but I did it, I was proud and I had run a half marathon.

I completed the Manchester 10k in 2006, 2007 & 2009 and the Great North Run again in 2006. My weight continued to drop and I was a comfortable size 10. My mental health improved dramatically. My confidence returned. In my last year at university I decided I needed a new hobby to go with my new body and took up ballroom dancing. There I met a rather good looking dance partner called James and the rest, as they say is history.

I kept running for fitness and weight maintenance but I didn't complete any more events except for the Manchester 10k again in 2010 shortly after my Dad passed away, it was emotional not having the whole family team together but this time I had James by my side.

But that was almost 6 years ago, so much has happened since then, it would be far too much to post all at once, so I will fill you in on the rest next time!

The important thing to note here is that change can take place if you're willing to work for it. Learning to run, losing weight and battling mental health problems isn't easy. I know this from both my own experiences and those of people close to me who inspire me every day. The key is to be consistent, to talk down the negative voices and to focus on that end goal - don't give up chasing your dreams!

Jenny xxx

The London Marathon : Our Story

"Will you run a marathon some day? You know just once to see if you can do it?"

 "Absolutely not! That's crazy, there's no way I could do that or would even want to, the training would be insane!" (Shakes head vigorously)....

...Yet here I sit, ready to tell you all about how I'm going to run the London Marathon for the Lullaby Trust.

*Lets rewind a bit*

If we haven't met, I'm Jenny. I'm 32 years old and live in Cumbria, with my husband of 8 years James, 5 year old Jack and 1 year old Juliet. I'm an accountant but I'm taking a break from my day job at the moment to look after those two little scamps.

In March 2014 we welcomed our second child, Jessica Rose. She was perfect, beautiful and full of smiles. However in the February of the following year at just 10&1/2 months old, she passed away in her sleep. Despite a post mortem and a thorough investigation no reason was found for her death and she became a victim of SIDs (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

In the weeks and months following Jessica's death we were overwhelmed by the love and support of family, friends and charities. Jessica left a lasting impact on so many people, both close to us and further afield.

The Lullaby Trust became my reference point. The process following the unexpected death of a child is long and drawn out, as parents we were often left wondering what would happen next and what the implications of a SIDs "verdict" would be. I spoke to Lullaby for advice during this time and when we went on to have our beautiful rainbow baby Juliet in 2016, Lullaby helped us via their Care of Next Infant (CONI) scheme.

The work that the Lullaby Trust do is vital not only to support bereaved families but to support and fund research into the causes of SIDs and reducing the risk of unexpected deaths through their safer sleep campaign. You can read more about the incredible work the charity does here.

So in April of this year, whilst watching the London Marathon coverage on the TV, I knew I had to get involved and do something to help.  Losing a child with no explanation left me feeling helpless, so find an outlet to make something positive is a great healer for me and I hope to do my very best, not only in my running but in my fundraising too.

If you'd like to make a donation, no matter how small, it would be greatly appreciated and can be made via my Virgin Money giving page:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/runningforjessicarose

I'll be updating this blog with my training plans, progress and fundraising updates, I hope you enjoy following our journey.

Jenny xxx